No, I don't have baby fever. Here's why....
everyday pursuits, andy and ashley, conversations, baby fever
Last week Andy's baby niece came to visit and man is she cute! Girl's lashes rival mine (mind you, I pay for mine every month) and she's only 6 months old. She is so precious and very well-mannered... but there's no fever, people. Temps are at a healthy 98.6 degrees.
The most common question us 30 something gals receive aside from "when are you getting married?" is "omg, don't you have baby fever?!" And my answer is no. Absolutely not.
I'm enjoying being selfish right now. Doing the things I want to do, when I want to do them, and investing in myself.
Some will say, "well Ashley that's so selfish" - yeah, I just said that (see two lines above). I mentioned my feelings to my hair stylist the other day (as one does) and she told me she is so happy she had kids later because she feels like she has no regrets about missing out on the experiences and adventures of her early 30s. And that yes, spontaneity and selfishness goes out the door the second you have children. It was really nice to hear that. (I swear, all hairstylist are secretly therapists.) And to be honest, I know I'm not the only one who feels like this but for some reason no one wants to talk about it.
CAREER
I have my hands in a lot of different things which I'm still exploring and fleshing out. There's certain goals I have set for myself and my career that will happen before I have kids. And then I will be a boss mommy. (High five to all you boss mommies out there - #killingit!). There's so much stigma about choosing career vs. kids and vice versa. I've seen first hand that it's possible to be a killer career woman and mom and I'm doing the ultimate prep to make that my reality one day.
TRAVEL
You guys, I am manifesting the sh*t out of a month long Europe trip this summer. If I had a kid I would be manifesting a college fund. #fact Seriously though, I know my kids will be well traveled one day but there's a ton I'm ready to explore first hand without a little one by my side. I just booked a sailing trip in Haiti for June which I am BEYOND grateful for the ability to do. This quote from one of my favorite books really resonates with me:
Travel to fill your tanks. We need to see harder than everyone else. If we're not seeing new life, we repeat ourselves. It is not a luxury - it is a necessity.
- Genevieve Gorder via In the Company of Women
EXPERIENCES WITH ANDY
A friend of mine who's been married for quite some time is getting hit HARD with baby questions -obvi. She recently said to me "We are having SO much fun. I love our lives. I'm not sure I'm ready to change that yet!" We can go back and forth about what kind of love, happiness, and joy a child can bring but one thing parents and non-parents can agree on is a child brings CHANGE.
Even though Andy and I have been together for over 4 yrs, there's still so much we're still learning about each other and parts of life we're exploring. I mean, it wasn't until last fall that I found out Andy isn't really the camping type - hah!
To me, it makes SO much sense to invest in myself and my relationship so that I am fulfilled and the BEST me/US when we decide it's time for children. And there's still a lot of work to be done.
This is somewhat of a sensitive topic, but I'd love to know how you gals are feeling about this. Btw, there are 3 books I'm obsessed with at the moment for self-improvement, all-around girl boss vibes, and creating the life you want:
cashmere cardigan c/o @mikimiette.ji.shop | bralette + undie set c/o fleur intimates